Do I have depression, bipolar disorder, or none?
Tasha Asked: Do I have depression, bipolar disorder, or none?
Okay, I'm a 15 yr old, I'm about 5'5-5'6 and 115-120 lbs. Lately, ever since I moved, I felt really sad, like my world was just ruined and everything I knew was gone. It's boring as ever here! I have nothing to no and no one to do things with. All my friends are where I used to live. I have been feeling lately kind of okay then pissed. Like I am thinking a lot about things I never considered before I moved. Like 1) I thought I was bisexual, now I think I'm a lesbian and I'm not sure but I feel nothing attached towards guys and ONLY girls. 2) I felt like God was there, kind of, now I feel I am an agnostic and God is not really there. 3) I feel suicidal 50% of the time, and homicidal the other 50%. Like I want to kill my dads mom, I hate that *****, and I want to then OD myself. Like today I felt sad as hell, then happy at school, then bored, then happy, then bored again, then happy and basically that was all day. When I got home it was bored, happy, pissed, furious, happy, furious again, and okay like now. This is a typical day for me going from bored to happy to mad to happy and an endless cycle. I also cry randomly. Like I NEVER cried, not even when my great-grandmother died and now I just cry whenever I'm alone and I cry about everybody yelling at me and hating me and how I'm told nobody wants me and no surprise why everyone yells at me and I'm feeling like crap and sad and useless. Nobody listens to me so a lot of anger comes out I already destroyed two school books, I don't own them, my spare pair of glasses, 6-9 CD and DVD cases along with the CD's and DVD's, a movie, my old phone, and random papers. I'm on the verge of breaking my T.V. and laptop. When I get extremely mad and break stuff my dad says don't do it and it's only when I'm just mad and he says just don't break stuff like he knows how angry I am he tries to make it sound easy but he doesn't think realistic. I ******* hate it here, hate his mother, hate everywhere and everyone I've lived it, had dreams about living with other people, foster parents, hate my life, want to die and honestly see no use for myself and what I do now. Hell I randomly cry in a corner balled up stupidly sometimes.
Bipolar disorder is a mood disorder which effects a persons mood and is caused by chemical imbalances in the brain. In bipolar disorder a person has mood swings from depression to mania which have to last 7 days each to be diagnosed but generally last weeks or months at a time. I developed bipolar when I was 15 and diagnosed at 18, when I was depressed I would sleep constantly, cry, self harm, wouldn't leave bed for days, didn't eat, wash, dress, constantly felt suicidal, hopeless and worthless, withdrew myself from family and friends and stopped going to school. This lasted for 6 months. Then I switched into mania when I was constantly full of energy and felt like I was on top of the world I was so happy, didn't sleep for days and if I did I would sleep up to 3 hours only, went out every night abusing alcohol and drugs, got into meaningless relationship, had sex with strangers, spent every penny I had and even stole from my mum, shop lifted, racing thoughts, aggressive and irritable, psychotic when I would hallucinate and be delusional to the point I stabbed myself and almost my boyfriend, I was constantly doing one thing to the next and I nearly failed college. This lasted for 4 months. Bipolar disorder is something that is very severe and effects your everyday life. I ended up being hospitalised because I was psychotic, hallucinating and delusional.
Not bipolar, most likely depression. You should go and see your doctor , it will only get worse. Good luck.
well when you moved away from your friends you probably did feel depressed for a while. Right now you just need something to cheer you up and get your mind off things. I use music, it changes my mood when im feeling down immediately.Feeling like crap, sad, and useless is just the depression talking. Believe me i know. i dont think youre bipolar, youre just going through a rough time. Do you ever feel extreme sadness then extreme happiness and racing thoughts or rapid speech? That would be bipolar disorder. Hate me for saying this but youre also 15 who doesnt go through ALL the emotions then ends the day by crying in the corner at that age? Im 17 and i still do that sometimes.
Okay. So i have gone through/ am going through a LOT of what you're talking about. I am also 15, and I don't know if this is the first time that you've moved, but as for me I've moved 9 times. No military family or anything, just a lot of moving. Lived in four different states and on both coasts, all that crap. And I know you feel like you won't make any new friends and that you miss your old friends, but trust me, it WILL get better. you will make new friends, you just have to be open to new people. Like you, I am thinking I'm either bi or lez, I am definitely agnostic atheist, and while I don't have them all the time, I definitely think about ending it all, or offing some of my problems. I don't really experience the whole emotion switch thing, I only really am angry, hyper, or sad. I do randomly cry, but I also randomly get REALLY mad. I don't break things (I did that when I was 6, broke a family heirloom, and learned my lesson) but I DO punch walls. I have a tendency to hate life, basically. But i haven't been diagnosed officially (i went to a psychologist but was only diagnosed with anger management). You would have to talk to a professional to be diagnosed properly.I don't know if you want advice, but i'm gonna give it anyways. a) when you're getting pissed off, or really sad, or having those suicidal thoughts, I've found that the best thing to do is try to distract yourself with tv, with books, with music, with art, whatever works. b) DON'T YOU DARE DO IT. you are NOT worthless, you are young, and you have a future. You have something to live for, even if it's just the future. I know this is cheesy, and stupid and cliched, but things WILL get better. You WILL get better. you just gotta stay strong. If you ever need to talk, I'm here. firstname.lastname@example.org
Ask God for help. I know it isn't much of a statement but I would. ask and beg and beg.