is this even worth all of the pain?
everythings made in china Asked: is this even worth all of the pain?
my family must think im lying. i know they hate me. my grandma was the only person who understood me but she died 6 yrs ago. she left with me with money, because she knew i couldnt work, but my cousins expressed how much they hated me, i even told them id send them whatever they wanted but they didnt respond.
i get social security because of my severe bipolar 1 disorder with psychotic episodes and my borderline personality disorder. but i feel so worthless and i cant do anything right. my grandma was the only person who showed me love in my 30 yrs of life, but like i said, shes gone, and i have no one.
im in SO MUCH PAIN, the tears cant stop flowing from my eyes, i love my family, but they dont love me. is it just because my grandma's WOULD BE birthday is tomorrow? and is life worth this horrible pain and suffering?
i am so poor, and in this hole, i WILL NEVER be able to dig out of.
Answers:
My answer is that be brave .Always think that there are people who are worst than you in this l world.Imagine if you were not getting any social security money and your GrandMa has not given you the money.Where were you.So thankful to God .Keep yourself busy. Every minute of your life should be busy.Plan the day from the morning till yougo to sleep.Always remember that we are born alone and die alone.These all relatives are just a part of the drama or a play.They join for sometime and they disapapper.
Have you tried drugs? I mean prescription drugs that are intended to treat depression. You can also look into other reasons why you are depressed. I recently discovered that some of my depression was because of Sleep Apnea and very low Levels of Vitamin D. That could not be the reason why for you, but it is an option to consider.
Trust me, I know your pain. I have very low self esteem. I have severe social anxiety, depression, borderline personality disorder, and I get night terrors. I used to burn myself, and cut with whatever I could find. I've been to countless therapist, and mental hospitals.
I started smoking weed to the point where if I wasn't high, I wasn't happy. I still smoke very rarely but cut down a lot. I meditate now, which I hand makes me more peaceful and calm. I also started running. It makes me feel great. I feel like I am running away from all of my problems. I have learned to enjoy the little things in life. Be happy that there are trees to provide oxygen. Be happy that you are still here.
I tried killing myself multiple times. After being diagnosed with bipolar disorders and depression at fourteen I felt the same way. But then I volunteered for these disabled kids one day and they touched my heart, I literally cried with joy with the love and enthusiasm for life they had. They were such amazing people and made me change how I thought about life after a few months joining different volunteer stuff. When you help others out who need it or need of a friend or even someone without judge mental eyes your heart opens up and you start to feel alive. When your around people who are fighting for their lives you appreciate the gift of life. Go out there and Try it. Change someone's life, witness a miracle.
Astrologically, it sounds like a Saturn thing.Saturn is old people, homeless people, jobless people, basically people going through the worst time in their lives.Deal with your Saturn energy by helping them.Basically, help someone else who is worse off than you.Work in a soup kitchen, or volunteer to read to blind people, or tutor younger kids with their schoolwork, or help old people by cleaning their apartments or running errands for them, or just by keeping them company.
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